Step Eight - Give a Little

“Charity is injurious unless it helps the recipient to become independent of it.” - John D. Rockefeller

There are many quotes out there that convey the same message as the one above. You may recall the one suggesting that giving a man a fish will feed him for a day, but teaching him to fish will feed him for a lifetime. I am sure you could find a dozen more. People offer acts of charity in many different forms. Many times it is in the form of money or something purchased with money. However, most often, it is in the form of service. Think of the times you have helped a friend solve a problem, or maybe paint a room, or even recommended a care provider (doctor, dentist, etc.). Those were all acts of charity. After all, one of the definitions of charity is "something given to a person or persons in need." [Dictionary.com] You were giving your time and energy without expecting anything in return. Or were you?

We live in a society (that can be incredibly selfish) where giving often has an ulterior motive attached to it (often subconsciously). The worst form of a "charitable" exchange is when someone gives something and expects something in return. I am referring to a situation like when someone mows his neighbor's lawn out of "kindness" and either blatantly or secretly expects a reciprocal act in return. It is even worse when a form of resentment formulates inside the "giver" and snide comments/thoughts are made like, "I mowed his lawn, so not blowing his leaves on my lawn is the least he can do." That is not true charity, by Mr. Rockefeller's definition. That is just a plate of selfishness with a side of corrupt intentions. Nonetheless, what if it made both the giver and the receiver feel good when the lawn was mowed? Is not that enough? Is that not the point of giving?

Not so fast. It is often the case when you hear someone speak of his recent act of charity, that he says how great it made him feel. That is fine and good, as it is human nature to feel good when you help someone else in any way. However, let us get back to the quote. Why did the recipient need the charity in the first place? Think of when they set up a medical clinic in an area of poverty. Is it a good, reputable act of charity to make people well again? Without question. But let us take it a step further. Would it not be a more long term and more effective act if they set up a medical school (or something similar) in the same area (or maybe made it a teaching clinic)? They could help the people to help themselves. Then, the givers can feel good and the receivers can feel the same way and pass that feeling along to others. Granted, not everyone can become a doctor. But at least the giving is not a one way street with a dead end. Now let us focus on you.

When is the last time that you really performed an act of charity that was both selfless and helped the receiver to help himself? Hopefully you can come up with a dozen or more examples. I think we all can do a lot more of this, and not just to those we converse with on a daily basis. There are millions of people out there that can benefit from your talents. Even if you help just one person, that could be the person who builds the school and helps thousands. With all of that said, one thing should be made clear. While Mr. Rockefeller defines the most complete form of charity, any form of truly selfless giving is a step in the right direction. You could be that first brick in the foundation of a sort of "pay it forward" way of living. Maybe you cannot always teach or give your time and energy. That is OK. Once in a while, you will touch someone else's life and be the catalyst of a domino effect that you cannot even imagine. Start today. Make life fair. Give a little.